Written by my Aunt Elizabeth "Bea"

I remember 2/26/07 like it was last night - when Bo and I went to the hospital that Sunday (she had been admitted Saturday night), she was sitting upright in bed in Inensive Care - they didn't have a bed for her in the "regular" section. Her spirits were good, she looked good and we were so confident that this was temporary. But I couldn't get out of my mind the question that haunted: what had made her fall?

The days started to mount up and by Wednesday, Bo and I knew there was something much more vital going on - the work of Mom preparing to leave us. I sat by her bed many hours and read my books and waited for things to change- but they didn't. More and more problems mounted - her colon, her heart, her pneumonia, her diminishing strength, her keen desire to see all of her family. She made me go to 1120 that first night and call the church women about some meeting - she didn't want anyone to think she had forgotten her duty.

More and more hospital professionals came to see us - the social worker who talked about Albion Manor (and to which Mom agreed without even a blink); various specialists. No one could help. No one could pinpoint what was going on in our mom. Only she knew the measure of her final days. She curled up with the shawl Martha brought her and refused food and withdrew more into the territory of leaving - as had Esther before her, and Gloria, and Leona, and Frank, and Cheryl Lynn, and Bill Mackie, and Dad...I want to think that she looked forward to joining them all. To dance once more with the 6 foot 3 inch man who had been her partner and her life's focus for over 50 years; to giggle once more with Gloria about the foibles of life in Empire; to share with Esther the peculiar pain of parenthood; to kick up her heels and recite some poetry ...

She was so resolute in her silence. No surprise there. She didn't ask for anything except to not be alone. And then we all did vigil - by the woman who had loved us and raised us all and sacrificed a career, her independence, her private dreams - to be Mrs. Gray. And what an act of love that was for this small and shy Empire woman - the only college educated person in her immediate family - a Nutrition and Dietetics major who braved and succeeded at Organic Chemistry and all other sorts of science - who worked in the clinic and must have been so, so lonely- but who knew how to make a goal and stick by it - in spite of no support from her own family and not a dime extra to spend on herself.

She was true to her style to the end. No pretense. No drama. No demands. No spoken regrets. She had loved and stood by our dad as she had loved and tended to us all.

She and I had such huge conflicts between us in our life together - but nothing will replace the quiet affection and humor and music and books we shared as she returned to being my mom full time - when I needed her most. I miss her terribly

With sorrow - and love - and a wish for our family to continue her tradition of abiding.

In the eventide, Elizabeth Ann