Hank @ 4 Months

The past month has flown by! I cannot believe Hank is 4 months old! I am trying to savor every moment as he grows and changes - knowing that once this stage of baby-hood is over - that's it. I am sure the next stage will have many wonderful moments and challenges too - but I cannot help feeling bittersweet for the ones that are falling away.

During the past month we visited family in Michigan, went to Fire Island, and as of yesterday started back to school. There has been a lot of activity and a lot of changes, and I think all of us are a bit weary and shell shocked - even Duke! Right now Hank has a fever - it began on Monday afternoon - our "practice" day for our fall schedule and I have been wracked with Mommy-guilt ever since. We see the doctor today - for the second time this week - and while when I went on Tuesday they said it was nothing, would clear up, I'm a bit distressed that it is lingering around. This is Hank's 4 month check up - and he will get shots! sad! I hate shots! But I am excited about how much he has grown, how long he is, and how much he weighs. He has already begun all his 4 month milestones and is really quite the strong, alert, and when he is not sick, happy boy of my dreams.

Before I forget there are a few things I wanted to be sure to write about. since he was born, Hank has been able to move his eyebrows independently - this is hysterical, as he often give me an eyebrow lift when he is eating. It seems like he is flirting with me - something else he has done since day one - and also somehow makes him seem wise and knowing! I get such a kick out of seeing him do it!

He is of course, like all babies fascinated with his hands - see photos in flickr for an especially good look at him playing with his hands. He has gotten much better at controlling them, and can now generally get things into his mouth - or just put his hands there. He does love to just look at them though - which is rather funny.

For years I have referred to Duke as my "little bunny" and I assumed that Hank would also be a bunny, and sometimes he is, but really he is a parrot. In public, if you cover his seat with a blanket, he will go to sleep - especially if there is a nice blanket of white noise about. We call this his "parrot mode" and can often plan on lunch or brunch out - after a little walk, knowing that Hank will be sleeping in his parrot mode very nicely. I'm sure he will start growing out of it - especially as he grows out of his infant seat/stroller and begins using his other one more, but I do cherish his parrot mode moments - both because he is so beautiful when he sleeps, and I just love having him with us and being out and about.

He has been enjoying his mobile, in the mornings we generally have quiet time when he plays in his bed and coos or squawks at it. He seems to be enjoying pulling his blanket over his head too, and can often be entertained with just a blanket or a wet washcloth. While we were in Michigan we started playing peek-a-boo, and I'm not sure if he is playing peek-a-boo by himself sometimes, or just likes the feel of the fabric. He is also enjoying his giraffe, Sophie, she is french you know, and when he really wants to gnaw on something she seems to really do the trick. While in Petoskey I bought Hank a triangle - I know it sounds stupid - but it's soft, and it squeaks and has little loops of ribbon hanging off it. He loves it -while we spent hours on the plane on our way home from Michigan, being diverted to Harrisburg PA because there was so much traffic at LaGuardia we couldn't land - it really saved the day. He likes the textures of the different ribbons, and can hold onto it easily. Along with his atom, it is one of the toys he really seems to enjoy.

During the month he started rolling over from his back to his front, and will often turn himself over while he is playing on his blanket - the beautiful one Aunt Ashley made is a special favorite - or even in his bed. While we were on Fire Island we never knew which way he would be in the bed when we went in to get him in the night, and we started having to check with a flashlight before we reached in, as he was hauled out upside down a couple times and really did not like that. I think at last we will move him into his crib at home this weekend and see how he does in it.

While I've been reading to him all along, he is really beginning to respond to the actual words I am reading, and not just the sound of my voice. Both Blueberries for Sal and Make way for Ducklings are special favorites right now because of the sounds -
Sal has a bucket she is supposed to be collecting berries in, and the sounds kerplink, kerplank, kerplunk always make Hank laugh - as does the names of the ducklings, Jack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Ouack, and Quack. He knows this is funny - which makes me laugh and then we read the names again so we are both laughing! I need to find some other books with similar language and sounds as I don't want to get sick of these old favorites of mine!

School has started and we are slowly getting onto our routine - I had one practice day and one real day of school this week. Hank did very well with being home with Terry and with Jessica, his lovely nanny. I was a wreck, but survived and was thrilled to come home to my little parrot-boy! I hope things continue to go well, Terry has evening classes two nights this semester and I miss him terribly when he is gone. It seems so odd to be without him after a summer of being always all 3 of us together!

Hank did come down with a fever and it is still lingering - 2 1/2 days, it's not super high, but worry-some and makes him cranky and sad. It's his first illness, and I am feeling so guilty - I go back to work, and he gets sick! Also, he was up in the night 3+ times instead of his usual 1 - so I am tired and a bit frustrated. It feels like we are moving backwards, but I am sure it will clear up once he is feeling better. We saw the Dr. on Tuesday because I am a nervous Mum, she said he would be fine - and we went in again today for his 4 month check up. He weighs 14 lbs and is 24 inches long. She proclaimed him very "proportional" - all his numbers are in exactly the same range, just below the 50th percentile. We will go back for his shots next week, as he wasn't feeling great and he cried throughout the whole appointment just to be sure we all knew it!

We are on track to start solid foods the week before his 6 month check up in October, and I am very excited about it. I have already been making baby food - so far just peaches, but will work on applesauce and some other nice mushes over the coming weeks. I am dying to have him sit at the table with us - he is working on sitting up - and though he tends to roll over onto his side after a couple minutes, he is getting much better at it. He practices with his Daddy at this, as well as on his standing up, and of course flying!

While it seems like we have taken a million photos of him - see here for the exhaustive collection I did miss some crucial moments in Michigan. I like to think I have them in my brain, but I do wish I had taken a few more of Hank - especially with his Great Grandma, and with his Nonna. I can't think of where my brain was - but I really cherish that he got to meet and interact with his family on this visit. Grandma Fritz is moving to Iowa and I'm not sure when we will get to see her again.

We also visited with the giant mob of people who constitute the Gray side of the family - the weather was beautiful in Bay View, and we had a good, though busy time. It seems like there was always something to do! For our next vacation, I would like to relax! We did make it to Fire Island on last time this summer, but once we get so close to school, neither Terry or I can really stop thinking about it - dam! But I guess truly the summer is over. It has been so magical to spend it with Hank, to see him grow and develop from the little tiny sprout to a sturdy active baby.

If I knew I would love being a mom so much, I would have done it sooner! But then I might not have gotten the magical child that is Henry. Thank you baby for waiting for me to be your mom - I love it! and I love you!

3 Months!

I can't believe it has been 3 months since Hank was born. It's been such an intense and amazing time. I love seeing him every morning and am still pretty amazed that Terry and I have such a beautiful little boy. Now that he is a little older, I feel closer to him and can read his mood and personality better. He is a happy baby who often wakes up cooing and gives me a big smile and a giggle when I go in to get him. He loves to talk and will often lie in his bed jabbering away. I would love to know what he is talking about - I think it's mostly about his hands right now - sometimes he seems to be thinking so hard you can almost see the wheels turning in his head. All this learning to live in the world is exhausting!

He did just discover his feet on Wednesday - it's Friday today, and was able to kick his mobile with them. This caused him to delight in laughter - also he's really enjoying moving his legs around. Light, shadow and movement, such at the ceiling fan capture his attention. Just this morning he spent almost a half an hour staring at the wall and looking at the shadows - and talking about it. He loves to talk about what he is doing and seeing. I try to keep up my end of the conversation as well. Sometimes he seems to just be practicing his sounds, and trying out new ones, while at other moments, he is talking to me about various things he is thinking about.

We have been rather startled by the sheer volume of drool Hank has been creating. I thought it wouldn't be so bad until he started teething - but nope, we have drool! Funny that I don't mind it too much, when you think about it, it is baby spit! If we have this much now, I wonder how much we will have when he does start teething - could be impressive! The other item that is visible in some of his photos is his cradle cap. It's getting better, but some mornings there are big chunks of it peeling off his head - I wonder if he picks at it in the night. I just want to peel it all off - but I do restrain myself! He also seems to have it on his neck, behind his ears, and in his armpits. I wash and moisturize him every day - he thinks it's funny - but it never really seems to go away. I wonder if the stuff on his head has to go first - then the rest will follow.

The stroller and the bjorn still put him to sleep, and when he is cranky - generally only when he is tired or hungry - but when he needs to get out of his space - the stroller is the best. Often he is asleep before we hit the end of the block. I was reminded of this during the week - we returned from our second trip to Fire Island - much more successful then our first - and no stolen luggage - but Hank was having trouble sleeping - and getting back on a schedule. A long walk in the stroller helped put him to rights - and last night he only woke up once between 8pm and 8am! He is starting to have more of a regular schedule and I'm sure once we go back to school in Sept. it will become even more so.

I've been playing music for him - The Beatles "Hibby-Hibby Shake" and "Twist and Shout" are a couple favorites right now. Apparently it's funnier when I sing them - so I do, and I dance around - this is very funny to him. He loves all our little games - on the changing table I touch nose with his bear's nose, then with mine - hysterical! and I have my hair run over his forehead - he loves this. We are exploring textures - the washcloth is one of his favorites! and he is beginning to really love looking at his books.

For the past month or so I've been reading to him - and he really responds, but now he is also looking at the pictures more and reaching for his toys a bit. Yesterday afternoon Hank "discovered" Duke. He just wanted to look at him, and if we moved his so he couldn't see Duke, he would cry. It was very funny. Duke was not that impressed and mostly showed Hank is butt - which was fine with Hank. He didn't really want to touch him, so much as look at him. While he has shown an interest in Duke now and then, this was the first time he really seemed to notice him - not just as part of the scenery, but as an important fixture in his life. I am sure once Hank starts throwing food at him, Duke will feel the same!

We have taken millions of photos of Hank, but still haven't captured the perfect smile - I want to get some prints made, but there are so many photos to look through it becomes quite a job. I've been so conscious of how fast Hank is growing, and how precious these days are. While we were on Fire Island I had Terry take a couple photos of me holding Hank all wrapped up - soon he will be too big to be held like that. It seems amazing to even think of it - but it is very true. I love just watching him play, kicking at his mobile, wiggling on his changing table, lying in my arms - it is very sweet and wonderful. I try to remind myself to enjoy and relish each new stage, as soon there will be a new one to take it's place.

I feel like I could keep writing about all the little things, but I need to go wake him up so he doesn't sleep too long....

Milestones

Yesterday Hank rolled over on his own. Yeah! He was crying while he did it - sad, but I think it gave him the extra momentum to get over. We try for tummy time every day, sometimes he likes it, sometimes not so much! But it's working and as soon as he figures out that he can roll over, I think he will enjoy it.

In spite of some random crankiness - referred to by us as "cranky-pants" Henry is an amazingly happy boy. He wakes up talking and smiles when you go get him. He laughs on his changing table and is beginning to really enjoy watching us make funny faces at him. He loves to wiggle and move all his limbs. As he gains control of his arms and legs I think he will really enjoy himself.

Last night he only woke up once, at 5:20am and then slept till about 8:30! I do really have to count my blessings as far as sleep and such - Hank is really an easy baby to care for. I think once he can move about I'll have to keep my eyes on him like a hawk, but I'm rather looking forward to it!

AARGH!

We spent the past week on Fire Island, the weather was beautiful, sunny, windy, rained at night - of course, now we have an infant so it was all different. That is not the bad part, on the way home our bag was stolen! While we were on the train home, between Patchough and Babylon, our bag was taken by some asshole. I hate things like that. Who does that? Yes there was a valuable camera in it - but that can be replaced. What cannot be replaced are all the little things, like the pictures - of Hank at the beach for the first time - that were on the camera. They stole our precious memories!

They also got my hand powered breast pump, a bottle full of breast milk, (that will come in handy I'm sure!) bottles, nipples, the mystery I was half-way through with - and for once I hadn't already read the ending! The first book of knitting patterns I bought - when all my girlfriends got pregnant and I started knitting up a storm - along with the yarn and needles for Hank's 6-12 month old sweater. It's not that these things cannot be replaced - but it's these things, the little details of your life that you miss. I packed my glasses in Hank's bag, or they would be gone - and as I need them when I wake in the night, I'm lucky to have them. It's not the expensive things, it's the details you miss.

And the pall it cast over our trip. I feel so anxious about travel with Hank as it is - and all the stuff we are moving around - his bed, extra diapers, etc. Getting it all there, being there, figuring it all out. I know as he gets older some of this will get easier - but right now, it feels like a huge extra project to figure out. Then to have it end so dramatically - I am completely bummed out!

Really, it was hard having him at the beach - too much sun! Funny, the weather was perfect, but we couldn't really enjoy it -every time we took him out we slathered him with sunscreen, made him wear a hat (he has not come to know the joy of hats yet) and wrapped a light blanket around him. It was a huge production. We sat on the beach once - it was too windy. Terry made an amazing lean to for Hank, but in the end, it was still not enough and we went back to the house. I really felt a little house bound - not that there is anywhere to go - that is the point, but even the beach was a huge project.

So now we are back, having to replace all our little details, and the camera! and I do not feel like I had a vacation. Also, I am completely freaking out that I will never lose the weight - that I will never have time for my self and my goals again. And that summer will be over before I know it.