AARGH!

We spent the past week on Fire Island, the weather was beautiful, sunny, windy, rained at night - of course, now we have an infant so it was all different. That is not the bad part, on the way home our bag was stolen! While we were on the train home, between Patchough and Babylon, our bag was taken by some asshole. I hate things like that. Who does that? Yes there was a valuable camera in it - but that can be replaced. What cannot be replaced are all the little things, like the pictures - of Hank at the beach for the first time - that were on the camera. They stole our precious memories!

They also got my hand powered breast pump, a bottle full of breast milk, (that will come in handy I'm sure!) bottles, nipples, the mystery I was half-way through with - and for once I hadn't already read the ending! The first book of knitting patterns I bought - when all my girlfriends got pregnant and I started knitting up a storm - along with the yarn and needles for Hank's 6-12 month old sweater. It's not that these things cannot be replaced - but it's these things, the little details of your life that you miss. I packed my glasses in Hank's bag, or they would be gone - and as I need them when I wake in the night, I'm lucky to have them. It's not the expensive things, it's the details you miss.

And the pall it cast over our trip. I feel so anxious about travel with Hank as it is - and all the stuff we are moving around - his bed, extra diapers, etc. Getting it all there, being there, figuring it all out. I know as he gets older some of this will get easier - but right now, it feels like a huge extra project to figure out. Then to have it end so dramatically - I am completely bummed out!

Really, it was hard having him at the beach - too much sun! Funny, the weather was perfect, but we couldn't really enjoy it -every time we took him out we slathered him with sunscreen, made him wear a hat (he has not come to know the joy of hats yet) and wrapped a light blanket around him. It was a huge production. We sat on the beach once - it was too windy. Terry made an amazing lean to for Hank, but in the end, it was still not enough and we went back to the house. I really felt a little house bound - not that there is anywhere to go - that is the point, but even the beach was a huge project.

So now we are back, having to replace all our little details, and the camera! and I do not feel like I had a vacation. Also, I am completely freaking out that I will never lose the weight - that I will never have time for my self and my goals again. And that summer will be over before I know it.